The Daily Mail Doing What It Does Best

Evidently no-one's off limits to the DM.  Not that I wouldn't have guessed that, but it's still rather sad.

Super glam SamCam, the bikini babe - but how DID she get beach body ready? As PM courts European leaders she 'chillaxes' in Ibiza

She has spent the past few months travelling the country, sharing her husband’s punishing Election schedule.So there’s one question everyone is asking: just how did Samantha Cameron find the time to get this beach-ready?The 44-year-old showed off her slim, toned figure as she spent a few days unwinding on the Spanish party island of Ibiza. 

Is that what they're asking ?  I'd have gone for how is this appropriate or how is this newsworthy ?  I'm guessing that what the woman who happens to be married to the British Prime Minister was doing was not showing off her figure so much as just spending some time at the beach with her children.  And perhaps hoping for the modicum of privacy any family would wish to have.

But carry on with the breathless speculation about her fashion-choices and obsession over her fitness-regime, adorned with not one paparazzo-shot but four, along with a bonus pic. from 2011 so you can talk about her post-pregnancy figure.  Not at all creepy.  Sigh.

The photos are sure to make husband David a little wistful – far from being able ‘chillax’ himself, the Prime Minister is on a whistlestop tour of Europe in his efforts to reform the EU.

Fuck that guy.  But maybe leave his family alone ?

Asobi Seksu: I'm Happy But You Don't Like Me

The Bird and the Bee: Fucking Boyfriend

Audio seems harsh to me, but what on YT doesn't ?

Well, It's the Weekend, So We Can Just Phone in any Random Crap, Right ?

Time to read the Telegraph...Referendum, booooring.  Global realignment of power between the US and China...pass.  Tom Cruise...ew.  What's that fourth item ?

But, but, surely that's...That's...The general election was just...

Why the hell am I looking at a photoshop of the former Deputy Prime Minister and former head of the LibDems with his wife & the Camerons over the caption "I'll be there for you..." ?

Is this some shit you had hanging around from before the elections, and you couldn't be bothered to update ?

Okay, okay, the 'content' will explain, right ?  <Reads the utterly unfunny pointless drivel that follows>

Nope.  What follows has nothing to do with Friends, nothing to do with the Cleggs, nothing to with 'SamCam', and is in fact nothing more than some cheap stereotypes and cliches seguing eventually into a bolted-on mention of Sepp fucking Blatter.  Please tell me you didn't pay Mister Thomas for this shit.

More importantly, please tell me you stole that image off the internet.  No, wait... Please tell me that your unpaid intern from Albania stole that image off the internet.

I mean, you do want to be taken seriously, don't you ?  You've only been running an online presence for over twenty years now.  You were fucking pioneers on the web !  We were still using the Mosaic web-browser when you launched the Electronic Telegraph FFS !

Aw, whadda I care ?  Go ahead, keep shitting all over yourselves Telegraph.  Think those cheques are going to keep coming in from the Tories indefinitely ?


Oh, in case you actually wanted to read this shit (their shit, not mine, not that my blather isn't that), and didn't believe me about how bad it is.  Well, sure: Don't say I didn't warn ya.

First World Fabrics

Google working with Levi Strauss to make smart clothes

SAN FRANCISCO - Google announced Friday that it is working with iconic U.S. jean maker Levi Strauss to make clothing from specially woven fabric with touch-screen control capabilities.

The Internet titan used its annual developers conference in San Francisco to reveal its so-called Project Jacquard and to spotlight Levi Strauss as its first partner.

...

The special threads can be woven into a wide array of fabrics, and be made to visually stand out or go unnoticed depending on designers' wishes.

Conductivity can be limited to desired parts of fabric or spread across entire cloth.

"It is stretchable; it is washable," Karagozler said as people controlled lights or computer screens with finger strokes on a blue cloth covering a table in the display area behind him.

"It is just like normal fabric."

Project Jacquard makes it possible to weave touch and gesture interactivity into any textile using standard, industrial looms, according to Google.

Anything involving fabric, from suits or dresses to furniture or carpet, could potentially have computer touch-pad style control capabilities woven

...

"In our hyper-digital world, people constantly struggle to be physically present in their environment while maintaining a digital connection," said Levi Straus's head of global product innovation Paul Dillinger, who took part in a Google presentation at the gathering.

"The work that Google and Levi's are embarking upon with Project Jacquard delivers an entirely new value to consumers with apparel that is emotional, aspirational and functional."

This is how we choose to use our technical prowess in the twenty-first century.  And what we think wealthy consumers will want to spend their excess cash on.  At least the actual technology is transferable, even if the application is frivolous.  Surely the most ridiculous story of the day...

You Couldn't Make It Up, Could You ?

Oh, Ukraine...  Poor, poor Ukraine.

Googoosh: Nimeyeh Gomshodeyeh Man

What the hell.  It came up in the shuffle, and I want some kind of stop here.

Presumably there was a reason for the short hair.  Whatever.  Googoosh rocks regardless.

Camera Obscura: Teenager

Stay Classy, JPost

What ?  We're just sayin'.  And if you click on the link, the Title specifies 'Not Just News.'   I'm willing to bet that a large part of JPost's readership wouldn't even see or acknowledge what is so very fucking wrong with that shit in the middle of the image above.  I try to keep an open mind.  I really do.  And then I see shit like this.  And I just give up...

Felix Kiprono is in love, and the young Kenyan lawyer is aiming high.

According to the daily newspaper Nairobian, the object of Kiprono’s affections is none other than President Barack Obama’s daughter, Malia.

Just how far is Kiprono willing to go to snatch the girl of his dreams? According to the Nairobian, he is prepared to offer the leader of the free world a dowry of 50 cows, 70 sheep, and 30 goats.

"People might say I am after the family's money, which is not the case. My love is real," Kiprono told the Nairobian newspaper.

Just how smitten is Kiprono with Malia Obama?

"I got interested in her in 2008," he said. "As a matter of fact, I haven't dated anyone since and promise to be faithful to her. I have shared this with my family and they are willing to help me raise the bride price."

He said he plans to deliver a letter to the US Embassy in Kenya to officially declare his intention.."

Ours will be a simple life. I will teach Malia how to milk a cow, cook ugali (a starchy dish) and prepare mursik (a sour milk) like any other Kalenjin woman," he said

Update: Apparently CNN & The Indy. also 'reported' on this non-story.  Which I guess, makes it okay...er, No.  No, it doesn't.  Our modern news-media is such a fucking disgrace.

Lush: Hypocrite

Is Labour Listening to This ?

A fine speech from the unofficial opposition in Westminster, by a former member of the Labour party.

The Yardbirds: Over Under Sideways Down

That Hastert Shit

I really, really don't want to know.  But, I guess that it was sex rather than money & power, well...that's something, right ?

Indicted former House Speaker Dennis Hastert was paying an individual from his past to conceal sexual misconduct, two federal law enforcement officials said Friday.

One of the officials, who would not speak publicly about the federal charges in Chicago, said “Individual A,” as the person is described in Thursday’s federal indictment, was a man and that the alleged misconduct was unrelated to Hastert’s tenure in Congress. The actions date to Hastert’s time as a Yorkville, Ill., high school wrestling coach and teacher, the official said.

And the Republican Party's change in attitudes towards non-straight-down-the-line hetero inclinations will be announced in one...two...three......

Dressy Bessy: I'm Never Wrong

In Which the PRC is Totally Not Militarising the West Philippine Sea

Chinese Weapons Spotted on Disputed Island, U.S. Says

By MATTHEW ROSENBERG MAY 29, 2015

SINGAPORE — The United States has spotted a pair of mobile artillery vehicles on an artificial island that China is building in the South China Sea, a resource-rich stretch of ocean crossed by vital shipping lanes, American officials said.

China’s construction program on previously uninhabited atolls and reefs in the Spratly Islands has already raised alarm and drawn protests from other countries in the region, whose claims to parts of the South China Sea overlap China’s.

Unpossible.  The PRC's activities are purely peaceful after all, and for the benefit of their neighbours.

Defense Secretary Ashton B. Carter called this week for China to halt the construction, saying that international law did not recognize Chinese claims of sovereignty over the new territories and that American warships and military aircraft would continue to operate in the area.

A violation of international law !  And we know how seriously the Americans take that !  Why any minute now, they'll be announcing sanctions, and...and...  Well no, of course not.

Psst, Vietnam...Philippines...Malaysia...Take a look at Ukraine.  That's what you get when the country on the other side is one upon whom the US is not massively economically dependent (as a result of insane past policy-decisions).  Think the US will be there when it counts ?  Might be time to make other plans...

Andy Burnham

So, this is the guy that Labour seemingly expects to lead them into the next elections huh ?  Because one generation lost to Tory-in-all-but-name Tony wasn't enough ?

Andy Burnham, the frontrunner to be the next Labour leader, is to argue that his party should value entrepreneurial businessmen and women as much as nurses and teachers.

The shadow health secretary, who is the favourite for the leadership, over Yvette Cooper and Liz Kendall, will promise an audience of business leaders on Friday that he would improve Labour’s reputation on the economy and ensure it values the contribution to society made by those who run companies.

All the candidates have now talked of the need to champion wealth creators in a significant change in tone from Ed Miliband’s rhetoric about standing up to corporate vested interests.

Because of course, business-interests have been so horribly under-represented in government the last several decades, whilst we endlessly coddle teachers and nurses, and pay them such outrageous wages.  All hail the 'wealth-creators' ! (™ Fox News)

Andy Burnham, the shadow health secretary, has made a surprise move to assert his independence from the trades unions by saying he will not take any union cash to fund his Labour leadership campaign. Burnham made his announcement as one of his chief rivals, Liz Kendall, tried to seize the mantle as the change candidate and new Labour MPs expressed their concern that the nomination process may narrow the field to two before the party has had a chance to hear the start of a debate.

Burnham has been labelled in some quarters as the unions’ favoured candidate, but he said: “I am not going to take any money from the trades unions in this leadership campaign. No money has been offered, but if it was, I would encourage it to be given to the Labour party to assist the rebuilding after the election. But I am actively seeking the support of individual trade union members and am pleased they have a bigger say in this contest.

“I am aware that, whatever the result of this contest, the party must come out of this well. I am going to be my own man. I am independent and will make my own judgments. I make no apology for our historic links with the trades unions

No idea why he would be the 'union's favoured candidate', but if they had any sense, they might note the use of the word historic.  As in, time to put it behind us, part of our ancient heritage, something we'll acknowledge quietly, but obviously something that has no place in this modern century of glorious capitalistic ascendancy.

He will say Labour should not have been running a deficit before the financial crisis hit, and will promise that as prime minister he would eliminate the deficit if the Tories fail.

But his admission that the party made a mistake is sure to raise eyebrows – Mr Burnham was Chief Secretary to the Treasury from 2007 and 2008, when the crisis hit.

Words fail me.  You do realise that letting your party be blamed for the (primarily US-caused) global economic crisis, is one of the reasons you lost the last election, don't you ?  And you think more austerity will 'eliminate the deficit' perhaps ?  By the year, erm...2300 maybe ?

Andy Burnham, the Labour leadership candidate, is planning to resurrect plans for what critics have described as a "death tax" to pay for people's care in old age.

Friends of Mr Burnham, the shadow health secretary, said that will return to the idea of a system where social care is funded by imposing a tax on estates when people die.

The plans have been criticised by the Conservatives as a "death tax" but characterised by Mr Burnham as a "social insurance system".

He has previously suggested that the current system is unfair because it penalises people who become ill and need care in old age. He has said that it means the most vulnerable in society pay the most and described it as a "dementia tax".

Oh, you 'ole socialist, you !  Taking money from people when they're dead and can't fight back is always a winner.  Of course if you wanted a 'social insurance system', you could always, oh, I don't know...use regular taxation...income tax say...while people are...actually still alive.  We could even...stay with me here...have a 'progressive' tax, whereby people are taxed according to their ability to pay.  From each according to his ability, right ?  Radical, huh ?

This post is titled Andy Burnham, but realistically, any of the candidates' names would probably fit just as well.  What it comes down to is this: Labour's leadership are professional politicians who happen to have ended up playing for 'Team Labour', 'Team Red' if you will.  'Team interchangeable meaningless label.'  But they don't actually believe in their own brand.  In fact, they're embarrassed by it.  And...It shows.  And if they don't buy what they're selling, then the voters certainly won't either.

Taking bets now for another Tory win in 2020, in the by-then rUK, consisting of an uncomfortable alliance of England, Wales, and Northern Ireland, surrounded by and barely tolerated by the European Union.

Canada Ending Tax on Tampons ?

Federal 'tampon tax' to be removed July 1  

The federal government plans to remove the tax on tampons and other feminine hygiene products, effective July 1.

A notice of a motion to amend the Excise Tax Act says the move will apply to sanitary napkins, tampons, menstrual cups and other similar products.

The NDP and others have been calling on the government to get rid of the so-called “tampon tax,” saying it unfairly targeted women.

Under the Excise Tax Act, the GST is typically applied to “luxury” items not considered essential to daily life. But in trying to get the tax eliminated, NDP MPs argued that tampons and pads are essential for most women of reproductive age.

Since January, more than 74,000 people have signed an online petition calling for an end to the levy on menstrual products.

Earlier this month, the NDP introduced a motion in the House calling on the government to exempt the products from the GST – a motion that the Conservative government said it would support.

Good.  Australia next ?  For some reason, fundamental human bodily functions always seem to get short shrift when it comes to talking about human rights, especially when it's to do with women's bodies.  Politicians never tire of talking about ways to make rich white men even richer, but addressing the messy details of actual human bodies ?  Ew !  Don't want to even think about it.  Make it go away...

Blur: There's No Other Way

Nirvana: Come as You Are

And This Is What We've Come To

The BBC will make the unemployed and low-paid workers compete against each other for a cash prize in a controversial Hunger Games-type show to find “Britain’s Hardest Grafter”.

Only the UK’s lowest-paid workers will be invited to compete to “show their worth” in the reality show, capitalising on the trend for “poverty porn” established by the Channel 4 series, Benefits Street.

Applications for Britain’s Hardest Grafter, which will be screened on BBC2, are limited to those currently earning less than £15,500 per year.

The BBC is seeking 25 British workers, a mix of the unemployed, the under-employed and those earning the minimum wage, who will be given the opportunity to “prove themselves” through a series of challenges. A cash prize is on offer for the winner.

A representative of the production company Twenty Twenty told the website Graduate Fog: “In each episode, people will be put to the test in a series of challenges and tasks.

“At the end of each episode, those who have produced the least will be eliminated and by the end of the process, just one worker will remain. The winner will receive in the region of £15,000 which is a year’s living wage (outside of London).”

Satire just can't keep up with real life anymore.  I mean, surely this is a hoax ?  The BBC ?  Not Sky, not Channel 4, not some trashy cable-outfit, but the B. B. C. ?  They put out some shit certainly, but new low doesn't begin to describe it.

I suppose The Hunger Games is the obvious go-to reference for the Indy -- More current, more hip.  But The Running Man is what comes to mind for me, and dated as it is, it's arguably a closer match.  Here's direct extracts from Wikipedia, describing that film.

The film, set in a dystopian America between 2017 and 2019, is about a television show called The Running Man, where convicted criminal "runners" must escape death at the hands of professional killers.

2017, huh.  Two year away now.

Plot [edit]

In 2017, after a worldwide economic collapse, American society has become a totalitarian police state, censoring all cultural activity. The government pacifies the populace by broadcasting game shows where convicted criminals fight for their lives, including the gladiator-style The Running Man, hosted by the ruthless Damon Killian, where "runners" attempt to evade "stalkers" and near-certain death for a chance to be pardoned.

Pacifying the population with reality-teevee after economic collapse.  That doesn't sound at all familiar.  What was once dystopian fantasy is now our actual day-to-day reality.  And we just shrug, get on with our lives, trying not to get noticed, not to speak out, and accept it.

Surveying her Domain ?

Those who know will probably either have seen said image within the last year or two, or...are of a certain age... Myself, I've been in love with this image and its variants every since I saw it.

Tricky: Black Steel

Less Insane than it Sounds...

Scientists are planning to ship ice to the Antarctic. They're afraid that mountain glaciers around the world are melting as a result of climate change and want to store samples of ice in a new vault in the coldest place on Earth.

...after reading the story, but still fucking depressing.  Read it if you will.

Metric: Youth without Youth

Getting There...

Six Fifa officials including vice president Jeffrey Webb arrested

Six Fifa officials, including vice president Jeffrey Webb, have been arrested on suspicions of corruption in dawn raids at a Zurich hotel ahead of Friday's presidential election.

The members of the world governing body were held by Swiss police at the US Department of Justice's request.

They are suspected of having received bribes totalling millions of US dollars, the Swiss authorities said.

Yes, yes, yes...

Fifa president Sepp Blatter, who is seeking a fifth term in charge of the organisation when he stands for re-election on Friday, is not one of the arrested.

Ah, crap.

Recycling...

Well, this (from the LA Times via Skippy) is not at all terrifying.

Central Valley's growing concern: Crops raised with oil field water

Here in California's thirsty farm belt, where pumpjacks nod amid neat rows of crops, it's a proposition that seems to make sense: using treated oil field wastewater to irrigate crops.

Oil giant Chevron recycles 21 million gallons of that water each day and sells it to farmers who use it on about 45,000 acres of crops, about 10% of Kern County's farmland.

State and local officials praise the 2-decade-old program as a national model for coping with the region's water shortages. As California's four-year drought lingers and authorities scramble to conserve every drop, agricultural officials have said that more companies are seeking permits to begin similar programs. The heightened interest in recycling oil field wastewater has raised concern over the adequacy of safety measures in place to prevent contamination from toxic oil production chemicals.

...

Until now, government authorities have only required limited testing of recycled irrigation water, checking for naturally occurring toxins such as salts and arsenic, using decades-old monitoring standards. They haven't screened for the range of chemicals used in modern oil production.

No one knows whether nuts, citrus or other crops grown with the recycled oil field water have been contaminated. Farmers may test crops for pests or disease, but they don't check for water-borne chemicals.

...

One environmental group has tested the irrigation water for oil field chemicals. Over the last two years, Scott Smith, chief scientist for the advocacy group Water Defense, collected samples of the treated irrigation water that the Cawelo Water District buys from Chevron. Laboratory analysis of those samples found compounds that are toxic to humans, including acetone and methylene chloride — powerful industrial solvents — along with oil.

...

Methylene chloride and acetone are used as solvents in many industrial settings. Methylene chloride is classified as a potential carcinogen.

One sample of the recycled Cawelo irrigation water, for example, registered methylene chloride as high as 56 parts per billion. Smith said that was nearly four times the amount of methylene chloride registered when he tested oil-fouled river at the 2013 ExxonMobil tar sands pipeline spill in Mayflower, Ark. That spill was declared a federal disaster, spurred evacuations and resulted in a $2.7-million fine for the company.

Chevron told The Times it does not use acetone or methylene chloride in its oil extraction process. The company would not disclose the fluids used in drilling or well maintenance.

...

Microorganisms in soils can consume and process some impurities, Sanden said, but it's not clear whether oil field waste is making its way into the roots or leaves of irrigated plants, and then into the food chain.

It's unlikely that petrochemicals will show up in an almond, for example, he added, "But can they make it into the flesh of an orange or grape? It's possible. A lot of this stuff has not been studied in a field setting or for commercial food uptake."

Carl K. Winter at UC Davis, who studies the detection of pesticides and naturally occurring toxins in foods, said some plants can readily absorb toxins without transferring them to the leaves or the flesh of their fruit.

Still, he said, "it's difficult to say anything for sure because we don't know what chemicals are in the water."

So we don't know exactly what chemicals are being pumped into the ground for fracking (proprietary trade secrets, natch.), but the stuff we find when we bother to properly test the water that is now being recycled for agriculture contains massive amounts of potential carcinogens.  And we don't know to what degree the soil could filter out this shit, or to what degree these chemicals could end up in our food-chain, but...profit.  So, we'll just assume it's safe and continue shipping the produce grown thus all across America, and all across the world.

So, just in case you thought fracking didn't affect you, because it was happening somewhere else, ask yourself: have you ever eaten agricultural produce from California ?

And of course, expect more of the same, as we continue to try to squeeze the last dregs of fossil-fuels from the earth to sustain our unsustainable economy and lifestyles.  What a species we are.

Breitbart: Obama Thinks Iran is...'Rational' !

Gasp.  <Faints>  How dare he speak so of our former alliesthe evil empire that is the Satanic Republic of Iranistan ?

Okay, okay, let's get to it...

However, the most interesting point reported by The Times of Israel, is Obama’s opinion of the Iranian regime.

(Reported by The Times of Israel !  Not like we can't just read the damn transcript for ourselves)

Goldberg asked Obama if the fact that the Iranian regime is anti-Semitic, and thus possessed of a warped view of the way the world works, shouldn’t preclude a negotiating strategy that treats Tehran as a rational player. But the president replied that the regime’s survival instinct is more powerful than other calculations, including its hatred of Jews and imperialist aspirations.

“Well, the fact that you are anti-Semitic, or racist, doesn’t preclude you from being interested in survival,” he said. “It doesn’t preclude you from being rational about the need to keep your economy afloat; it doesn’t preclude you from making strategic decisions about how you stay in power; and so the fact that the supreme leader is anti-Semitic doesn’t mean that this overrides all of his other considerations.”

Tehran, he continued, won’t make irrational decisions — an apparent reference to the regime breaking away to a nuclear weapon or attacking another country — that would threaten its very survival. “What we’ve been very clear [about] to the Iranian regime over the past six years is that we will continue to ratchet up the costs, not simply for their anti-Semitism, but also for whatever expansionist ambitions they may have,” he said.

Just shocking.  I can't believe he said all that.  It's just outrageous !  What is wrong with the man ?

Obama is right. Iran is suffering severe internal problems. Rampant, out of control drug abuse, obscene levels of corruption, and severe economic problems are tearing at the foundations of the Iranian tyranny.

According to the Daily Mail, around seven per cent of Iran’s population remain addicted to hard drugs. On top of Iran’s already hideous problems with the flood of dirt cheap opium and heroin pouring out of Afghanistan, Iran has lately acquired a dangerous taste for crystal meth.

Okay, just WTF now ?

...

For all we know, the Supreme Leader of Iran himself could be a meth addict – suffering drug induced psychosis, paranoia, experiencing drug induced delusions about his own mission to remake the world, lusting for the destructive might which nuclear weapons would grant to his addled megalomanic fantasies.

Hitler was a well known meth addict  – under the influence of meth, he ordered the commission of irrational atrocities, such as the infamous Nero decree, Hitler’s order to destroy everything of value which might be seized by advancing Russian soldiers. The Nero decree was not executed – Albert Speer, in the final days of the war disobeyed Hitler, and refused to pointlessly destroy the infrastructure of Germany. But an occasional outbreak of reason was more the exception than the norm, in Hitler’s meth fuelled Reich.

And that's how the 'article' ends.  Reductio ad Hitlerum.  Shit.


For all we know, Bill Clinton could be a lizard-person from an alternate dimension.  George W Bush could have been an elaborate AI construct in the matrix. Vladimir Putin could be the second coming of Christ as understood in the cryptic version of the Gospel of Judas.  Steve Jobs could have been secretly an Arab (well, not really a secret as such).  Margaret Thatcher could have had a secret sexual obsession with Ken Livingstone.  For all we know, Ayn Rand could have been a rabidly anti-Christian atheist (uh, well, actually...)  Stalin could have had a really vulnerable soft spot for puppies, and secretly donated to funds for orphans.  For all we know, Luke Skywalker could have been the bastard child of Darth Vader.  For all we know, John McCain's anti-aging regimen could involve the daily bathing in the blood of Mexican babies.  For all we know, the staff at Breitbart might contain an actual journalist or two.... What after all....do we...actually...know ?


So easy, and ultimately futile (given the audience) to mock, but the full interview is arguably worth reading...okay, skimming, especially if you want to skip the facile spin than the traditional outlets will inevitably want to place on it:  http://www.theatlantic.com/international/archive/2015/05/obama-interview-iran-isis-israel/393782/


Below the fold, here's how the interview ends, and the part that I personally found the most interesting:

White Stripes: Fell in Love with a Girl

Pretty sure I already know, but not (because of same) going to try looking up how long it's been.  I can only imagine what (relatively) recent history must look like to the millennials.

Tone' to the Rescue

So back fresh from all his historic successes as Peace Envoy in the Middle East, the man who gave us the glorious and necessary war in Iraq, and whose devolutionary strategy has been such an unquestionable success in preserving the union in Britain, has his eyes on saving another union.

Goody.  That will be very helpful.  Especially when he wins over the hearts and minds of sceptical voters with statements* like this:

Nationalism is a powerful sentiment.  Let that genie out of the bottle, and it's a Herculean task to put it back in.  And Reason alone, struggles.  The referenda (sic) on Europe carries with it exactly the same risks.

 For that reason, should the Conservatives win, one other thing will be certain: the Prime Minister will be spending more energy, will have more sleepless nights about it, be more focused on it, than literally any other single issue.

 He knows the vastness of the decision.  He knows the penalty of failure.  He knows exit will define his legacy.  And, following the Scottish referendum, he knows one other thing: the perilous fragility of public support, for the sensible choice.

Tony, Tony, aren't you busy enough 'working' as adviser to the likes of JP Morgan Chase and the dictator of Kazakhstan ?

I mean, I know your employers in Wall Street and in the City are worried that their profits (or the obscene magnitude thereof) might be threatened by a British exit from the EU, but sending you out to stump for the pro-EU side will be as useful as having you stump for Ed Miliband at the last minute in the recent election was.

Don't you get it ?  Outside of the United States perhaps, no-one likes you.  No-one trusts you.  Everything you touch turns to shit.  Can't you just retire with your many millions already and leave the other inhabitants of the Earth to get on with the business of cleaning up the messes people like you made ?


* https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4PvZFyQ3IsE, 5'42-6'40

Ofra Haza: Chai

From a time when Eurovision didn't totally suck.

Anne Clark: Short Story

Eurovision

It is appropriate in a way I suppose that the Eurovision 2015 Finals should have featured performances, over eighty percent of which were sung entirely in English, with many of those performers, including the UK entry, affecting American accents in the process.  What a perfect symbol for the increasingly corporatised monoculture sweeping our planet in what may well be man's last days.

Now, this is more like it.  Montenegro wuz robbed.

The Grauniad Spitting into the Prairie Winds of Probability

Sure, it could.  So, what, the NDP & Liberals should engage in some grand alliance ?  Yeah, ha ha.  Sure.  That'll happen.

Short of electoral reform (and the record of that in the west is pretty bad, the US having failed to make any movement whatsoever towards abolition of the electoral college, that system having finally in 2000 made a man president ahead of his opponent who literally won more votes, and the electorate of the United Kingdom having actually voted down the option of AV (Alternative Vote/Preferential Voting), because...because, well, there's no way I can say that without being deeply insulting to the intelligence of said electorate), strategic voting is still the best option the voters have.  In theory, politicians and parties could put their own egos and ambitions aside, but when has that ever happened in the West outside WWII ?

For most of my lifetime certainly, voting for the least shitty likely outcome has always been the most sensible option for most of the western world, which does again beg the question for proponents of proportional voting who voted against AV in the UK, what the fuck were you thinking ?  Think the Tories are ever likely to put proportional voting on the ballot given the last results ?  Think there's much chance even AV will be on the cards again for the next several decades ?  Think a likely future rUK will give you any choices other than Tory or UKIP, or the future identical simulacrums thereof ?

But returning to Canadian voters again...Fuck it, you're going to re-elect Harper's government again and you know it.  Short of a massive crisis of confidence in the Tories' economic policies and/or some titanic scandal, you'll vote, like the idiot Brits, in favour of caution over chance, even if you're sane enough to recognise that burning off the oil-sands may well be a death-knell for the planet.

Because you're cautious, you're conservative, you're easily scared, you're risk-averse, you're disproportionately focused on the near-term future, you're rather wedded to irrational thinking, and, in other words,...you're human.

Priorities

Speaking of hunting...  Well I guess there's only so much you can soak the poor, so many taxbreaks to give out to billionaires and multinationals, only so many civil liberties left to shred.

So what better way for the Tories to celebrate their newfound majority than by re-legalising the brutal bloodsport that is fox-hunting ?  And what better way to show the country that you are no longer the 'Nasty Party' ?


Actual Wikipedia page for Theresa May currently BTW:

Never change Wikipedia.  Never change.

That Would be Just Terrible

Liverpool are stuck in the past and in danger of becoming a provincial club

It is no surprise Raheem Sterling wants bigger and better things elsewhere - a proud club is failing to think beyond the confines of its city

By Gary Neville

1:40PM BST 22 May 2015

If you compare Liverpool to Manchester United over the same period of time, I can think of only one player - Cristiano Ronaldo - who left when he wanted to go, rather than when Sir Alex Ferguson wanted it to happen.

The comparison with United is valid because, regardless of the recent successes of Chelsea, Arsenal and Manchester City, English football’s biggest, most historic, successful and best supported clubs are Liverpool and Manchester United.

If you travel to Ireland, Scandinavia, Malta, Thailand or wherever, the red shirts of Liverpool and United vastly outnumber those of every other club.
But while United have been happy to shout from the rooftops about how big they are and promote the legend and mythology of the club on a global scale for years Liverpool seem to have been stuck in their own mud.

Liverpool have begun to realise the commercial value of their brand on a worldwide basis, but they are years behind the biggest European clubs and, for me, their problems - which have been given a public face this week by the Sterling situation - are a direct result of that failure to think beyond the confines of their city.

Yes, it's true, Liverpool FC, the club from that jet-setting internationalist world-capital and centre of world-commerce and culture that is Liverpool is in danger of becoming a provincial club.  That would be tragic.

Far better that they should be more like Manchester United, with exponentially more fans outside the environs of their hometown than inside, with traditional fans unable to afford seats, and eventually attracting a hostile takeover from a foreign billionaire via a leveraged buyout that would leave the club with a massive debt.  What, they're already owned by a foreign billionaire ?  Shit.

Not that I care that much specifically about Liverpool or United, or football generally, but is there no-one in this world any more who doesn't value success and commercial profit over all other values ?  What's the point in Liverpool FC or Manchester United FC being dominant global teams if they no longer primarily represent the people of those cities ?  Just as I'd ask what the hell is the point of a Labour party that tries to win elections by simply adopting the platforms almost wholesale (minus support for the aristocracy and hunting) of the Conservative party.

Why not just sell off the naming for teams to the highest bidder, as the names clearly don't mean anything any more ?  We already have the Emirates FA Cup.  Why not Barclays FC or Qatar United ?  Fer fucks sake...

Runaways: Cherry Bomb

Psychedelic Furs: Dumb Waiters

Case where there is actually a version from Vevo, and the audio just sucks...by the standards of YT that is.

Worst British Cultural Export Since Mister Bean

So, apparently, the British 'institution' that is Red Nose Day is being exported to the US, specifically in the form of a three-hour telethon on NBC.

Just why ?  What did the US do to deserve this ?  Is not the suffering of one nation enough ?

With luck, hopefully no-one will notice the damn thing and it will die a quiet death, remembered only dimly as a stupid one-off idea that made as much sense retrospectively as attempting to cast serial rapistcuddly dad-figure Bill Cosby as Victor Fucking Meldrew.

Baby-Talk

Baby-to-baby talk could spur speech development: study

At six months, infants prefer listening to each other than to adults, according to a new Canadian study that could have implications for helping children learn to talk.

Babies' natural attraction to one another's "goo-goo" sounds could be what kick-starts and supports the essential processes involved in speech development.

A research team at McGill University discovered babies' mutual attraction to their own sounds in several experiments in which they played a repeating vowel sound.

This sound was played in two formats, one being similar to how an adult woman would mimic baby talk and the other format imitating genuine baby talk.

It's important to note that in both cases the sounds were crafted using a synthesis tool rather than being produced by human vocal cords.

The research team measured how long the sounds held the babies' attention and they showed a clear preference for those that corresponded with their own sounds, listening to the baby frequency a full 40 per cent longer, on average.

Why we mimic baby talk?

Parents and caregivers could be demonstrating a very human intuition when they imitate their babies' goo-goos and ga-gas, according to the study.

"Perhaps, when we use a high, infant-like voice pitch to speak to our babies, we are actually preparing them to perceive their own voice," says senior author Professor Linda Polka, of McGill's School of Communication Disorders.

Okay...  That's interesting.

Dads 'use adult tone not baby talk'

Mothers are more likely to coo at their babies, while fathers address them more like small adults - but both approaches help children learn, a study suggests.

Scientists at Washington State University used speech recognition software to analyse differences in parents' speech patterns.

Mothers' "baby talk" is believed to promote bonding.

But fathers, who use a more adult tone with babies, may provide a "bridge" to the outside world, the researchers say.

The researchers analysed hundreds of hours of family speech, including mothers, fathers and their pre-school children.

Families wore microphones, and their interactions were recorded over the course of a normal day.

The research detected distinct differences between the ways mothers and fathers spoke to their pre-school children.

Mothers used a voice that was higher and more varied in pitch than the tone they used when addressing other adults.

"Baby talk", sometimes referred to as "Motherese", has exaggerated, attention-catching cadences, which are attractive to babies and young children.

Fathers, by contrast, used intonation patterns more similar to those they used when speaking to adult friends and colleagues.

But this did not imply fathers were failing to engage with their children, said lead researcher Mark VanDam, professor of speech and hearing sciences at Washington State University.

"This isn't a bad thing at all. It's not a failing of the fathers," said Prof VanDam.
He suggested the different approach could help children deal with unfamiliar speech patterns and acquire language as they grew up.

Huh...  Really.


So, two different approaches, each providing a unique benefit ?  And a role for both parents ?  Amazing.

Snark failed to show up today.

Be Thankful We Didn't Mandate Foot-Binding

The Cannes Film Festival faces fresh accusations of discrimination for turning away women from the red carpet for not wearing high heels after a film producer with an amputated foot said she was told off for wearing flat shoes.

Film producer Valeria Richter, who has part of her left foot amputated, said she was stopped by festival officials who pointed and waved their fingers at her flat shoes.

Richter said she could not “keep her balance” in heels after having her big toe and part of her left foot amputated and was stopped four times on her way into the premiere of Gus Van Sant’s Sea of Trees on Saturday.

She told BBC 5 Live that red carpet officials pointed at her shoes and said: “No, no, this won’t work, you can’t get in like this.”

She said: “They pointed their finger at my shoe and then were waving their fingers at me. It was quite obvious it was my shoes that was an issue.

I...just...uh..., no.  Okay, I guess I may get why, the issue of height aside, some women may choose to torture themselves with high heels, but, this is still a horrendous distortion of how the human body is meant to work.  This is still, certainly if involuntary, a form of torture.  And to what end ?  Who the hell benefits from women being forced to pose precariously in stilettos ?  And what the hell does this say about our society ?  Just...why ?

Super Furry Animals: Calimero

The Crimea: Lottery Winners on Acid

Skimmed a few of the live and fake-video versions.  Wish there were a better way to have this shit mediated, but...

Here's where a sensible individual would insert a reasoned disertation on capitalism and the concerted effort to convince working families to gamble their savings, which might once have been more conservatively saved through the institutions of social democratic systems, on Wall Street.  But who are we fucking kidding here ?

Emily, '16, Yeah!

Feel like I've neglected the US stuff lately, but frankly, short of the daily stories of white cop shoots black or brown guy for looking at him the wrong way, or decades-long neglect of infrastructure and/or complete disregard for the environment & human safety leads to completely needless disaster, most of the political stories in the US consist of trying to make a remotely reasonable spin on the latest bullshit to fall out of a Republican candidate's mouth.

So hey, here's this, only a few days old, and only slightly indicative of how fucked up the Supreme Court's decision on campaign-finance was that turned a run for president into a financial and promotional no-brainer for any semi-conscious Republican wanting easy easy money and free publicity.

Emily Farris Is Not Running for President

Pollsters included the name of a random woman in a survey—and 20 percent of Republican primary voters said they dislike her.

Pity Emily Farris. Republican primary voters just don’t like her very much.

In a survey released on Wednesday, Public Policy Polling found that Farris near the bottom of the GOP field. She polled well behind fellow Texans Rick Perry and Ted Cruz. Just 3 percent of voters had formed a favorable opinion of her, while 20 percent reported unfavorable views. Only embattled New Jersey Governor Chris Christie faced a wider gap.

And Farris isn’t even running. She’s a political science professor at Texas Christian University, whose name was included within the enormous field of Republican hopefuls as a statistical control. “It’s a little surreal to think that 20 percent of Republican primary voters have a negative opinion of you, when they most likely don’t know you,” she told me.

Farris’s unlikely journey from scholar to subject of political polling began with a PPP poll of Iowa voters, in April, that included Michigan Governor Rick Snyder. Paul Egan, a reporter for the Detroit Free Press, called up PPP director Tom Jensen to make sense of the results. Snyder, Jensen told him, was effectively unknown. “If I had polled you for favorability with Iowa Republicans, you would come out with the same number he did,” Jensen said.

He put that proposition to the test in PPP’s next poll, of Arizona Republicans. It turned out that Jensen had been mistaken. Snyder was viewed favorably by 5 percent of respondents; Egan, the reporter, actually outpolled him with 6 percent support.

Farris, who teaches an upper-level class on polling, was puzzled by the inclusion of an unfamiliar name. PPP explained its logic. “Well, next time throw my name in the poll as someone with no national profile,” she tweeted to PPP. “It'll amuse my Survey Research students.” And then, on Thursday, she spotted reporters trying to figure out why a quarter of Republican voters had opinions about “Emily Farris,” when they’d never heard of her.

Yep, there are so many B-list and C-list candidates on the clown-car-train for the Republican nomination in 2016 that voters don't even know who the hell they are any more, but will express an opinion anyway, even for a completely random made-up candidate.  I'll joke: Sure gives ya faith in democracy, huh ?...  But seriously, I do wonder whether the results would be the same if repeated with Democratic voters.*

Thanks Chief Justice** Roberts !


*No, really, I am completely serious as in whether this has anything to do with the ability or lack thereof to admit ignorance or failure, that seems to characterise certain types of political leadership, and how that might be reflected in the electorate.  Isn't funny, because it isn't meant to be.  And I'm genuinely interested.

**Thanks Harriet Miers !

Leonard Cohen: First We Take Manhattan

Purely, honestly, because it just came up in the shuffle, and I was surprised I hadn't used it before.

No. 1, No. 1 !

The UK is the most unequal country in the EU, according to a new report.

The Dublin foundation for the Improvement of Living and Working Conditions, the EU’s agency for life at work, found that the UK had the worst Gini coefficient of any EU member state.

The Gini is one of the most widely used measures of inequality and calculates how income is distributed among a nation’s residents.

According to the results, the UK’s GINI rating is 0.404, a rate that has soared since the financial crisis in 2008. The result is well in excess of the EU average which is 0.346 and even exceeds the United States’ rating of 0.4.

Well sure.  Keeping in mind of course that the UK is really made up of at least five different countries, one of which, 'The City,' is to the British economy what California is to the US economy, were California several times wealthier, exponentially more plutocratic, almost completely devoid of any actual human residents, and the size of my toilet.*

*These comparisons are of course completely made-up, and any seeming resemblance to actual reality is purely a product of your imagination.

Saint Etienne: Nothing Can Stop Us

Refrained from posting one depressing item after another.  Need something uplifting...and even a little nostalgic maybe.

Supertramp: The Logical Song

Not sure how official this is, but seems as good as we're likely to get.  Whatever.

Wish I'd Said That...

Hmm, why does this sound so familiar to me ?...

SNP will form the real opposition to the Tories, says Angus Robertson

The SNP will be the “real and effective” opposition to the Conservatives, the party’s Westminster leader has said.

With Labour searching for a new leader since Ed Miliband’s resignation, Angus Robertson said the SNP would be a strong voice for people in Scotland and across the UK.

The SNP are now the third-biggest party in the House of Commons with 56 MPs taking their seats when parliament resumes this week.

Robertson said: “For the sake of people in Scotland and across the UK, it is vital that there is a strong and effective opposition to the Tory government at Westminster – and that is a responsibility the SNP are ready and willing to discharge.

“We will work in partnership with the Scottish government and members of the Scottish parliament, and are prepared to reach out across party lines at Westminster.

“Indeed, I believe that the SNP will form the real opposition to the Tories. Labour are leaderless at Westminster and mired in a leadership crisis in Scotland, but the issue is deeper than that.”

It's a mystery.