Ted Cruz Still a Pathetic Clown. A Reminder

One would think that with the billionaire-backers showering money on these assholes, that they could hire some writers with a modicum of wit, up the production-value, and produce YouTube-ready videos, that while still showing their utter lack of gravitas and desperation for attention, would be at least...a little funny.  Instead:

Hey, we need to make a 'viral' video for Ted so it'll get played by the mainstream news and remind Americans that he still exists.  I know: everyone likes bacon, right ?*, and Americans love them some guns.  So why don't we combine the three ?  Genius !

If he were running for class-president in a school in Katy, Texas, I'd be impressed with little fifteen-year-old Rafael's efforts in the Audio/Visual Club.  But he's not.

* Bacon is over-rated as fuck in my opinion.

Another Desperate Candidate for the GOP: Dr. Ben Carson !

Um, okay...Doctor.  And ?...


H/T Digby

Just WTF Is This ?

I somehow missed this till now, but what the hell ?  Is Ted Cruz determined to prove repeatedly his unworthiness for the presidency ?  Who on his staff approved this ?

This is the some clown who recently gave us the idiotic proposal of periodic elections for members of the Supreme Court, because boo hoo, he didn't get his way on the Affordable Care Act or same-sex marriage.  And because subjecting justices to the popularity-contest of periodic elections, and having them forced to raise money for said elections will ensure a less politicised judiciary alright.

Although, unfunny as this shit is, I will say his Ned Flanders is spot-on.  Read into that what you will.

Well, It's the Weekend, So We Can Just Phone in any Random Crap, Right ?

Time to read the Telegraph...Referendum, booooring.  Global realignment of power between the US and China...pass.  Tom Cruise...ew.  What's that fourth item ?

But, but, surely that's...That's...The general election was just...

Why the hell am I looking at a photoshop of the former Deputy Prime Minister and former head of the LibDems with his wife & the Camerons over the caption "I'll be there for you..." ?

Is this some shit you had hanging around from before the elections, and you couldn't be bothered to update ?

Okay, okay, the 'content' will explain, right ?  <Reads the utterly unfunny pointless drivel that follows>

Nope.  What follows has nothing to do with Friends, nothing to do with the Cleggs, nothing to with 'SamCam', and is in fact nothing more than some cheap stereotypes and cliches seguing eventually into a bolted-on mention of Sepp fucking Blatter.  Please tell me you didn't pay Mister Thomas for this shit.

More importantly, please tell me you stole that image off the internet.  No, wait... Please tell me that your unpaid intern from Albania stole that image off the internet.

I mean, you do want to be taken seriously, don't you ?  You've only been running an online presence for over twenty years now.  You were fucking pioneers on the web !  We were still using the Mosaic web-browser when you launched the Electronic Telegraph FFS !

Aw, whadda I care ?  Go ahead, keep shitting all over yourselves Telegraph.  Think those cheques are going to keep coming in from the Tories indefinitely ?


Oh, in case you actually wanted to read this shit (their shit, not mine, not that my blather isn't that), and didn't believe me about how bad it is.  Well, sure: Don't say I didn't warn ya.

Worst British Cultural Export Since Mister Bean

So, apparently, the British 'institution' that is Red Nose Day is being exported to the US, specifically in the form of a three-hour telethon on NBC.

Just why ?  What did the US do to deserve this ?  Is not the suffering of one nation enough ?

With luck, hopefully no-one will notice the damn thing and it will die a quiet death, remembered only dimly as a stupid one-off idea that made as much sense retrospectively as attempting to cast serial rapistcuddly dad-figure Bill Cosby as Victor Fucking Meldrew.