Super Bowl XLIX

This coming Sunday, half of North America will celebrate the cultural phenomenon known as the Super Bowl.  In which, several hours will be expended in observing the playing of a game officially sixty minutes long.  A glorious modern-day bloodsport going by the name of 'football', involving as it does, the movement of a non-ball-shaped object more closely resembling a pointy egg up and down the field by hand.  A game in which massive steroidal armoured men will intersperse periods of incredible tedium standing about doing nothing with slamming into one another at great velocity, and competing to see who can give the other the greatest muscular and spinal injury, and quite possibly brain damage.

There will be a lengthy halftime show involving various overpaid A-list MOR artists, and there will be lots and lots and lots of commercial advertising.  People will watch the advertising...voluntarily.  They have been waiting for it in eager anticipation and speculation.  For many, it is more exciting than the game itself (cough).  There will be much consumption of beer and nachos.  A few audience-members will no doubt accidentally shoot one another, this being America.  And at the end of the day, after all the cheerleading and fireworks, someone will win the actual game, such as it is.  Will it be the New England Patriots, most recently infamous for the terrible sordid horrible no-good affair of 'Deflategate' (gasp), or will it be the Seattle Seahawks, with their oh-so-cleverly named '12th Man' supporters and their penchant for attempting to destroy one another's eardrums and inflict permanent loss of hearing ?

Anyway...